An insult usually hurts, but it is important to resolve in your own mind, based on evidence, why the insult hurts. What loss does it represent to you? Decide if the insult:
Begin the analysis by deciding if the insult is based on information that accurately represents you. Then reflect and consider if your image accurately represents your stature. If you decide the insult is unjustified then you can simply ignore it (“don't take the bait”) or you can describe why it is unfair and ask your offender for an apology. If your public image exceeds your stature, then the insult may a justifiable retaliation for your arrogance and it may contain an important message you can learn from. If the insult is justified it may cause you to feel shame and then lead you to revise your self-image to better align it with your stature. The insult is never justified if it is an attempt to reduce your stature below the threshold of human dignity.
For an insult to diminish your public image, the public has to believe it is true. For an insult to diminish your self-image or self-esteem, you have to believe it is true. An insult cannot diminish your stature because your self-image is not your self. An insult may cause you to reassess your self-image or self-esteem.
Revenge is often sought as a remedy for humiliation; perhaps using the phrase “protecting honor” as justification. But revenge cannot be an effective remedy for humiliation, because it does nothing to increase your stature.
Humiliation is more demeaning and hurtful than “taking offense” at something. “Taking offense” is cognitive; you have questioned, disagreed with, or attacked my beliefs and perhaps my values. We disagree, and I think you are wrong. Offense is intellectual; it is about what I think. “Humiliation” is visceral; you have attacked me, my being, my self, and made me feel foolish about who I am. The attack is personal and credible enough that you have caused me to doubt my own worth, and thereby induced my shame. Humiliation is existential; it is about who I am.
Humiliation has been linked to academic failure, low self-esteem, social isolation, underachievement, marital conflict, delinquency, abuse, discrimination, depression, learned helplessness, social disruption, torture, and even death. People in power use humiliation as a form of social control; it is a common tool of oppression. The fear of humiliation is also a powerful motivating force.
Although shame and humiliation are human universals, the particular circumstances and events that cause humiliation can vary greatly from one culture to the next. An event that is benign in one culture may cause great offense, shame, and humiliation in another. For example:
Victims of humiliation may be able to achieve resolution through either of two paths. The first is to hEmotional Competency - Humiliation Vofsis Humiliatingnicelookingbaregirls Humiliating Nice Looking Bare Girlsv v Humiliating Looking b b Humiliating Nice sEmotional Competency - Humiliation Vofsis Humiliatingnicelookingbaregirls Humiliating Nice Looking Bare Girlsb a Girls o Looking Girls Nice